Feel like you’re working for a Tiny CEO? Here is why

If you’ve ever found yourself negotiating with your toddler and had flash backs to your days in the board room, you’re not losing your mind. Parenting much like being middle management in a high-pressure organisation run by an emotionally volatile executive with zero business training and a strong commitment to workplace chaos.

Yes. Your toddler is a Teeny Tiny CEO.

Not the chilled, beanbag-sitting, kombucha-drinking tech-bro type. I’m talking old-school CEO energy unpredictable mood swings, unrealistic KPIs, and an entire diet consisting of crackers and vibes. Check out the similarities…

Morning Briefings

The day always begins with urgency. High-level demands include:

·                     Milk, but in the yellow cup.

·                     Toast cut into triangles, not squares, you monster.

·                     Bluey. Immediately. No, not that episode, the OTHER one you watched 47 times yesterday.

This is the daily stand-up meeting where nothing stands up except your blood pressure.

Note- Keep your coffee strong, your patience stronger, and your stash of emergency snacks (for them… or you) within arm’s reach at all times.

The Dress Code Demands

Your toddler has very strong opinions about fashion.

Shoes? Optional.

Pants? Oppressive.

Wearing a tutu over their pyjamas to Coles? Non-negotiable.

Your job is not to question the creative vision. Your job is to clap politely and usher them into the car before they add more glitter lip gloss.

Snack Procurement and Distribution

Welcome to the Snack Economy, the backbone of toddler society.

At any given moment, your toddler will require:

·                     Snacks they demanded yesterday.

·                     Snacks they insisted they hated last week.

·                     Snacks they saw another child holding once at the park in 2023.

Luckily, The Nappy Shop Wipes have you covered for all snack-based messes. Or for getting in first before they lick the trolley handle. Emotional support coffee for you? Look, we can’t sell that (yet), but we strongly recommend it.

Mid-Morning Meltdown Meeting

The meltdown may be caused by:

·                     The sun being “too sunny”

·                     A pigeon looking at them

·                     The swing being “too swingy”

·                     You are breathing your coffee breath on them

Your role: remain calm, validate feelings, and pretend the other parents at the playground aren’t silently judging you (trust us, they’re not, they’re just glad it’s not their turn).

Night Shift Negotiations

Bedtime is your toddler’s favourite hobby: resisting it.

Expect tactics such as:

·                     Sudden thirst

·                     Sudden hunger

·                     Sudden existential questions (“Mum? Why do clouds exist?”)

·                     Sudden Olympic-level acrobatics while you try to zip their pyjamas

You are close. Hold the line.

No, you are not imagining it

This is what your years of working have been preparing you for, and I can guarantee you have never had a cuter boss.

And remember, they won’t always need you like this for snacks, cuddles, arguments about shoes, and crisis-level crumb removal but right now, you’re their full time EA… try and enjoy it, because in a few years you will be suddenly demoted to their on call Uber driver.

And for all the chaos-containing bits and pieces you do need?

You know where to find us, right here at The Nappy Shop.