How to Get Your Toddler to Sleep (Without Losing Your Sanity)

Bedtime with a toddler isn’t so much a routine as it is a hostage negotiation mixed with a circus act. You enter with the noble goal of “bed by 7,” and by 9:30 you’re googling sleep solutions for 2-year-olds. But don’t panic - there are ways to (eventually) get your pint-sized night owl to sleep.

Step 1: The Pre-Sleep Olympics

Toddlers have one last burst of energy before bed that could power the national grid. Channel it wisely. Rough-and-tumble play, a dance party, or chasing them around the house until you collapse can help burn off the “just one more jump” energy. The trick: stop the chaos at least 30 minutes before bed so they don’t enter full sugar-high mode.

Step 2: Bath Time = Spa Time

Nothing says “relax” like chucking a slippery eel - I mean toddler into a warm bath. Bonus points if you can trick them into thinking bath time is a luxurious spa ritual and not just another attempt to wash banana out of their hair. Add some lavender-scented bubbles, dim the lights, and pretend you’re running a five-star day spa instead of refereeing rubber duckie fights.

Step 3: The Sacred Pyjama Selection

Your toddler will insist on wearing the Lightning McQueen pyjamas that are still damp from yesterday’s washing. Pick your battles. If they want to sleep in a tutu, fireman boots, and a pirate hat…congratulations, you’ve got yourself a toddler who will at least eventually fall asleep dressed for Mardi Gras.

Step 4: The Storybook Shuffle

The universal toddler bedtime trick: prolonging stories. You said one story, they heard fifteen. Pro tip: pick books with lots of pictures and minimal words (board books are your best ally). Or invent a “mystery story” about what happens when toddlers actually go to sleep

Hint: toys have a secret disco and they can only join if the child is asleep by 8 p.m.

Step 5: The Drinks, Snacks, and Negotiations

Once in bed, your toddler will suddenly develop the thirst of a desert traveller. “I need water.” “I need milk.” “Actually, I need a seven-course snack platter.” You can either set firm limits (“one sip, that’s it”) or embrace the absurdity and keep a toddler-sized minibar on the nightstand. (Note: bad idea, but funny to picture.)

Step 6: The Final Boss: Staying in Bed

You’ve conquered the bath, the PJs, the story… and now they emerge like a horror movie villain: “Muuum, I forgot to tell you something.” Walk them back gently, firmly, (and repeatedly) like you’re in a competitive sport called Toddler Bed Relay.

The Honest Truth

Some nights, they’ll conk out in five minutes. Other nights, you’ll be singing Twinkle, Twinkle on repeat while questioning all your life choices. The key is consistency, a dash of patience, and the occasional bribery (“if you stay in bed, you get pancakes tomorrow”).

And remember: one day they’ll be teenagers, and you’ll be yelling at them to wake up.